BGF or BF?

“If I asked you out, would you smile and say yes? If I held your hand, would you tell all your friends? If I sang you a song, would you ask me to sing it again? Or maybe we should just be friends.” -Just Friends, Shane Harper

I would like to put on record that I’m not someone who stays in every night or has a limited number of friends. I play sports, I can talk to nearly anyone and well, I’m not hard on the eyes. So that leads me to often question, “why have I never been in a relationship?” I’ve slow danced at school dances and am friends with guys…but that seems to be where it ends. I’m not desperate but I’m not afraid of being in a relationship. More than once I have had the same thouhgt, “this is it, he’s going to ask me out” and..he doesn’t. It ususally turns into a question about the homework. Needless to say, I continue to stay in a dreaded place, the Freind Zone, dun dun dun..

A few years ago one of my good friends told me, “just make sure you don’t get stuck in the friend zone.”I didn’t think much of this besides the fact that I’d rather not end up there. Sure enough that’s where I’ve been the past year. I think it’s great being friends with guys, they don’t overthink every little thing and theres generally less drama, and when there is, it’s resolved within minutes. But what happens when you start to fall for your guy friend? I can personally say that most of the time the only thing that comes from that is awkwardness. If you’re one of those people who has turned their friendship into a relationship good for you that’s wonderful..but I’m not that lucky.

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This past year specifically I hung out with these two guys, let’s call them A and B. B and I had already had some history meaning that he liked me when we were younger. Would I have said yes if he had actually asked me out? I would have liked to, but we were only in elementary school. A and I were already friends for a couple years. We hung out in class, joked around, they made fun of me and I laughed along with it, they’re funny guys. We would text here and there and be parnters in class. I felt completely myself around them and didn’t feel like I had to overthink the way I acted around them. Even my mom said, “I think you’re more yourself around them then you are around some girls,” and it was true. Anyway let’s just say I started to like one of the, or both of them, I went back and forth before I decided that I really liked only one of them. And that’s when I started ruining the great friendship I had been building all year.

I thought it might be useful to understand why I’m writing this blog, and this past year has a lot to do with it. Why do I feel it necessary to detail my past year’s love life? Because I learned a lot from it. 1. Just because someone acts like they like you doesn’t mean it’s true. They could just be a big flirt. 2. It’s tough deciding whether or not to tell them, there’s a potential friendship at risk. I tried to drop small hints, but some guys are just plain oblivious. 3. If you tell your other guy friend and he promises not to tell the guy you like, theres a 99% chance he really will tell him. 4. Liking a guy friend usually changes how you act around them, and not always in a good way. 5. It’s a fine line between supporting them around others girls and becoming too jealous.. that’s never ever good. 6. Even if he constantly tells you how he thinks he’ll never get a girlfriend he still might not ask you out. Maybe he still thinks of you as just a friend, or again, is just plain oblivious. 7. If he doesn’t like you do the best you can to return to the easy going friendship.

I’ve found this to be a major point in my non-exsistent love life, the fact that I seem to always end up staying ‘just a friend’. Guy friends are great, falling for a guy friend, not so great.

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July 24, 2012. Uncategorized.

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