“My new boy knows the way I want it, he’s got more swagger than you, he’s got more swagger than you.” Bang Bang Bang: Selena Gomez
Wow. It’s been a really long time since my last post, so much for weekly blogs. Life has been crazy lately. The end of the school year is always hectic and playing varsity lacrosse leaves little time for anything else. When the summer hits, I expect to be on here much more often, so that’s exciting. For me at least.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the idea of opening up to new people. I’ve been thinking this for two reasons. One being that (dare I say it in fear of jinxing it) there *might* be this boy who likes me. My friends think he does at least. If I saw him act this way around another girl I would definitely think he likes her, but you view things differently when it’s yourself. Let’s just say I like him. A lot. “I’ve never felt this way before” is the cheesy, cliche line I seem to be thinking recently. I’ve learned to step out of my comfort zone a bit and take some chances. You are never going to accomplish anything if you don’t. Hopefully they pay off, so far they have.
The second reason is because of my friend. (who sometimes reads this, so if you are, hi, hope you don’t mind)… Anyways to make a long story short, the guy she’s liked for years has ‘a thing’ with this girl now. In my opinion this ‘thing’ won’t last long, but it still hurts. I try to tell her that maybe it is a good thing, and she’ll be more open to other people now. Maybe it’s for a reason and something better is meant to come.Whatever she takes from it, I at least have been thinking about this.
It’s hard to open up to someone new. Often times it’s kind of scary. That’s one more person who could hurt you. But you cannot go through life like that. Letting someone new in your life could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. That may be pushing it a little, but hey, you never know unless you give it, them, a try.
“It’s not like I’m giving up who I am for you, but with someone like you, it’s just so easy to do.” -Your Anything, Taylor Swift
I’ve decided to try and post on the same day every week, which will be saturday, so hopefully this helps in gaining more followers and readers, i’d love to get the word out to more people and don’t forget the twitter account for this, @beateeninlove !
Ok now that that boring stuff is said, time for what I wanted to say. This week I’ve been reading a ton of those “how to know if someone likes you articles” on magazine websites. Like, a lot. Like, for three hours just last night… Here are the top three signs I’ve learned to look for to see if somebody likes you:
1) If they like you then they will try to initiate contact with you and talk to you whenever possible. This includes asking a lot of questions, making jokes, and actually listening when you talk.
2) EYE CONTACT. This is a big one. If a guy/girl likes you, they will look right at you when you’re talking. Guys are especially known to keep looking at the girl they like, so if you see that guy staring at you all the time then there’s a good chance that he probably likes you. Also, eye contact is the perfect way to tell the person you’re interested too without having to say anything.
3) Body language. If someone likes you they tend to face you, feet in your direction, leaning into you, actions like that. I mean if you like someone don’t you want to be as close to them as possible?
That’s what I learned. And I find most of it to be really true, I find myself doing a lot of those things when I like someone. A good amount of it just happens naturally. I’d love to hear what you guys think about this, think it’s true? Not true? Confused about if someone likes you? Leave a comment or email me! (email@example.com)
“Runaway, be my runaway baby, get away, we should get away baby, runaway, runaway so we can fall in love” Runaway: District 3
So as I’ve said a couple times, I’m a massive One Direction fan. Think what you want, but I am. I’m also a huuuge fan of Jack and Finn Harries on youtube. And recently I find myself falling incredibly in love with the band District 3. Why is this an issue? 1. They’re all British, I seem to have a thing for British boys.. 2. They’re all famous. I mean 1d is ‘the biggest boyband in the world’, Jack and Finn are getting way more popular, and District 3 just finished the British x-factor tour.
This is also an issue because I find myself thinking about them all the time. C’mon, I can’t be the only person who does this. So I think about them, and then about the boys that I know and are in my grade, and there’s not even a competition… This post is turning dangerous because my inner ‘fangirl’ as people call it, is coming through, but I just spent like an hour watching D3 videos so I feel like dedicating this post to it… What I would like to know, is that they’re just normal boys too, yeah they have stylists and everything but even before they were still all so attractive. Why can’t I know boys like that? I guess I’m just ‘tired’ with my selection. Looks like it’s time to go out and meet new people!
Just in case you don’t know the people I mentioned…
“4 will not wait for 3, for 3 never waited for 2, and though you will not wait for me, I’ll wait for you” Patient Love: Passenger
With all the days I’ve had off of school because of this Nemo blizzard I’ve had a lot of time to think. And I’m annoyed. There’s this one kid who I’ve either really liked or have been really annoyed with practically my whole life. He liked me for years in elementary school, which frankly is just bad timing. I couldn’t do anything about it back then, I was like 10 by the end of elementary school. And now it’s rare a week goes by that I don’t wish he waited like four more years until we were in high school, 8th grade even, where we could actually act upon it. We have classes together now, and last year and I swear nearly every single thing he says to me he’s making fun of me most the time. But it’s never mean, it’s usually funny so I know he’s just playing.
A couple of weeks ago he started acting differently, more attentive, more interested, and when we were both at a party we hung out all night. (yeah this is the kid that asked my friend to dance though…) After the party I had a couple other friends tell me they thought he would’ve asked me, and one asked if he liked me. I said I didn’t know and did she think so? She said that after the way she saw him acting at the party she thought so. It was a really really good couple of weeks and I felt like something could actually maybe happen.
That’s over now. We’re in a new class and it’s back to those sarcastic “I’m going to act like this is annoying me” comments. And I.have.had.it. Make up your mind. You either like me or you don’t. But I’m tired of this back and forth. It’s still nothing mean and I still know he’s just playing with me, cool, I can take it, but it’s annoying. And then some days it’ll be really good and we’ll have some good moments. I just wish he would pick one or the other. My parents, my dad really, always joke about how we’ll be together and say he only treats me like that because he actually really likes me. I just wish he would pick one attitudes me or the other. If any guys are reading this can you PLEASE try to explain this behavior to me. Please. I would really appreciate it.
“Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don’t, touch.” Treacherous: Taylor Swift
Have you ever had one of those ‘catch your breath’ (cheesy I know) moments? Well I’m dedicating this post to them. The moments where someone is so close and without realizing it you’re really enjoying the moment and thinking, “hey I could get used to this”. I just had one of those. And I keep thinking about it. Yeah.
I was in class the other day and didn’t know what I was doing on my computer so B got up from his and came over and leaned right down over my shoulder and was so close. This is the second time too that this has happened. It was one of those moments that made me feel everything I just said above. Which almost stinks because I was trying to not care as much and just let things roll and here he goes doing something like that making me pretty much like him again. It never fails.
This happened a couple of days ago and here I am still replaying the whole thing in my head. Please tell me I’m not the only one who does things like this. But even if I am, it’s going to keep happening. Because I keep doing it. A lot.
I created a twitter account for this blog! ^^ This way it’s easier to stay updated. I’ll be posting periodically on there, song lyrics, thoughts, quotes etc. I also thought it would be a good way to spread the word!
Also I created an email specifically for this if you ever feel like emailing me for something! firstname.lastname@example.org
Hope to hear from you soon!
“Darling, who needs love? Who needs a heaven, up above? Who needs the disappointment of a telephone call? Not I.” Who Needs Love: Razorlight
Midterms are over. Finally. Phew. So that now means that the new semester is starting tomorrow and I’m really excited. We start our new electives tomorrow and I’m in a class called Graphics and it’s pretty much designing stuff on the computer, which I love, so I’m really excited. Plus B and my other friend are both in it so it should be a fun class. I’m looking forward to getting back on schedule and seeing everyone like normal after the past week or so has been a weird midterm schedule. But tomorrow I also get the midterms back so…kinda nervous.
Anyways, Valentine’s Day is still a few weeks away (actually according to a tweet I just saw 16 days), and you know what my friend and I realized? Our school does nothing for it. Like you read books and people are buying flowers and candy for their friends and they’re delivered during school and it seems really fun, and I really want to do something like that! I’m going to suggest something like that…
Also, I started reading this book today, (The Book of Luke by Jenny O’Connell, it’s SO good you guys should read it) and there was a Valentine’s Day themed dance, which may sound lame, but like I said, our school does nothing, I think that’d be fun. My sister even organized one at her middle school…so in the book the girls are seniors and they’re talking about how the freshmen and sophomores are all eager and excited for the dance even though it’s kinda lame. So then I was thinking ‘hey I’m a sophomore…’ and then laughed because yeah, I would get excited for a dance like that. Oh well.
So wow this was all pretty random, let me know, does you’re school do anything for Valentine’s Day? Is it lame or is it fun??
“But I can’t help but think that I loved you first..” Crying Out For Me: Conor Maynard ft. Beckie Eaves
Really quickly I want to mention some things I learned today. I don’t know if you guys read my last post, but I was actually excited to see B again today after the party, and was all happy last night. Then in school we talked, but not as much, and it wasn’t as exciting or good as last week and the night at the party was. Then I was in a mood. A bad, disappointed ‘im over thinking way to much’ mood.
Over thinking gets you no where. It just creates a bigger deal over something. It eventually leads you to believe things that aren’t true. I over think waaay too much, and it’s done nothing for me. So now I’m going to try to stop over thinking and go with the flow and see what happens from now on. I’m also going to try to expect anything too high, or get my hope up to high. I guess what I’m going to try to do is stick to reality. Wish me luck.
“Never felt like this before, are we friends or are we more? As I’m walking towards the door, I’m, not, sure..” Change My Mind: One Direction
I want to start with a question.. Have you ever thought something really good was happening and then it turns around to be something different? I experienced this last night. I was at a sweet 16 party, and the whole night was overall amazing. It was such a fun night.
And without getting into every little detail (because if I did that I could make reading this take hours) I was having an amazing time hanging out with, well I guess I’ve referred to him as B in the past posts. Usually he teases me constantly and doesn’t seem too interested in what I was saying, but lately that’s changed for the better. So at the party we were hanging out a ton, and talking and laughing and it all seemed great, like some switch had changed and in a positive way.
Then he asked one of my best friends to dance. And I said something about how we should dance before, and then he asked her because he didn’t hear me. He told me ‘there’ll be other songs’. What’s that supposed to mean? Did you want to dance with me then and were too nervous so you’ll ask on a different song? Or were you saying that to avoid the situation. Another slow song never came on.
I’m not one of those people to be mad at it, but confused? Absolutely. Either I was totally off on how things were going, or as my other friends said maybe he was just to shy to ask…but then why did he ask her? I started to think then that maybe he was hanging out so he could hang out with her and I was just there. And then after more of those good, different moments happened again.
I guess what I’ve gotten out of this is that I think too much.
“Say somethin, if you’re feeling the vibe, say somethin, baby don’t be so shy” Say Somethin: Austin Mahone
I cannot believe that just happened. So the ‘new guy’ I’ve been talking about just friended me on facebook, then messaged me. All good things. But seriously the conversation was so awkward and lasted for like 6 lines. Is that normal? Do first initial convos always end up awkward? I had no idea what to say, and that never happens for me! I always have so much to say, usually too much!
I feel embarrassed almost. Which is kind of funny because I mean he could’ve kept it going, but nah, it just ended. This is so awkward. I can have a conversation with anyone…except now. Why the heck is that?? It’s not that I haven’t been in conversations that have just ended like that before, sadly I have. But they’ve usually been with a good friend or something. Maybe that’s it? Because I’m still getting to know him? But wow like I said…awkward.
And then here comes my nightmare, I texted my friend whose friends with him too saying something like ‘hey guess who I’m talking to’ and now my brain is playing a fun game called ‘worst case scenario’ and thinking ‘what if he’s there and was holding her phone and saw that?! Oh my gosh tomorrow we have a double block too together and I sit next to him…tomorrow should be interesting.